Great is Thy Faithfulness

High point for the week: Thursday night I came home from work needing someone to talk to. It's not that I was sad or upset about anything. I just haven't had time to talk to anyone, and sometimes I just need to let everything out and I need someone to listen. Who better to listen than my mom. It's been a long time since I've been able to talk to my mom. We haven't been as close in the past few years. It was good just to sit down and talk to her like I did when I was a kid. I used to talk to her at night when I was too tired to even get up and go to bed, and it was one of those nights.

I realized I wasn't as close to my parents when I came home for Christmas break this year, and I told myself I was going to have to take control of the situation. I tried to tell my mom I was sorry that I had been so disrespectful over the past year and I was going to change. I was taking matters into my own hands. Apparently God had a different plan. I went back to school, hardly called home to talk to my parents, and only showed them disrespect the few times I did come home. I could not understand why MY plan wasn't working. It was a struggle to figure out what I was doing wrong. I wasn't praying about it. I didn't realize that this wasn't something I could do on my own. I began praying about it a few months ago. I prayed for my parents and my brother. Then I began to pray for myself. I prayed that God would intercede in my life and take control. And He has.

I've realized the power of a hug and a kiss, and the three most important words one could say to a loved one. When I was finished talking to my parents on the phone I would never tell them I loved them. It didn't seem important. They knew it. I knew it. It was more like an implied "I love you." For about a month I've started telling my parents that I love them and hugging and them and kissing them everyday. If I ever say anything disrespectul, I apologize. I've been too proud, and I think God is telling me it's time to humble myself. If you asked my parents how they feel about the change I think you would hear good things. I haven't been perfect, and I never will be, but the change has been good. Once again, I haven't done a thing. Giving everything up to my heavenly Father is what I should have done first. Pride is a hard thing for me. That pride kept me from a deeper relationship with my parents for years. The only thing I can do is let go of it and give my burdens to God. He will take care of the rest.

Low point for the week: Because I stayed up so late talking to my mom Thursday night, I came home from work exhausted the following evening. I laid down for a nap at 7:00 and woke up about 14 hours later. I woke up once during the night at about 3:00 because of a dream I had. I woke up crying because I dreamed my dad had a heart attack and died. I've always had dreams about my dad dying, but usually he is doing something completely ridiculous like cliff diving. Nothing this realistic. It startled me and I'm still pretty shook up about it. My dad's health has gone down hill in the past few years, and it's always been on my mind. It's something I want to help him with, but I find myself getting impatient and frustrated. I want my parents to know I am really concerned without being disrespectful.

Discoveries: Great is Thy Faithfulness is my mom's favorite hymn. She once told me that it comes from Lamentations 3

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

What a great verse, and a great song! Okay, so what do they mean? I memorized that verse because it brought me a lot of comfort at times, but I never understood it's real meaning.

"The Lord's mercies never cease. The Lord's compassion never fails. The Lord's faithfulness never diminishes.

That defines God's immutability, which is a four-bit word for "He doesn't change." He has to remain faithful. Being immutable, He not only will not change in His faithfulness, He cannot change. He never cools off in His commitment to us. He never breaks a promise or loses enthusiasm. He stays near us when we are zealous for the truth, and He stays near us when we reject His counsel and deliberately disobey. He remains intimately involved in our lives whether we are giving Him praise in prayer of grieving Him by our actions. Whether we are running to Him or from Him, He remains faithful. His faithfulness is unconditional, unending, and unswerving. Nothing we do can diminish it, and nothing we stop doing can increase it. It remains great. His immutability never diminishes. Mysterious though such incredible constancy may seem, it's true." (From The Mystery of God's Will by Charles Swindoll)

I sat down to pray and think one night and I realized how unconstant I am. I am so unfaithful and inconsistent. One day I can be in prayer all day and the next day not even one thought will be turned to God. I turned my Bible to Lamentations to practice my memorization still not realizing exactly why I was memorizing it. Then I read the passage by Charles Swindoll in my Bible. Duh! God was there all along telling me what it meant. I just needed to listen. He is faithful. He picks me up when I'm falling down. He is there to carry me when I cannot walk. Even during my senior year of high school when I was being so disrespectful to my parents and going through what I would call a "spiritual drought" He was there. And He always will be.