Immunity

I just recently got engaged to my boyfriend of almost 2 years, and I am very happy. One thing I don't think many people understand is the difficulties and responsibilities that come with a serious relationship. It's definitely worth the struggles, but I do wish that people were more understanding sometimes. I really appreciate those people who still think of me often and have never given up on me. I spent about a year of my life totally consumed with Daniel. He was my only friend that year, but when I came out of my trance, there were a few faithful friends who were still standing there waiting for my return. So to all of you, I thank you, and I love you.

I always thought that when I found my true love I would be immune from heart ache, but what I have found out is that my heart aches even more. It aches for Daniel. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts. It also hurts when I know I have to make sacrifices. My heart aches for my friends and family. I can't hang out with all of my friends as much as I used to because Daniel is worth the sacrifice. On the other hand, I don't want to be dead to the world. I still love to hang out with my friends, and although I may say no to their invitations part of the time, I really really appreciate it when they still include me. It really hurts me when they don't. When I know I am the only person not invited, as much as it makes me feel like a little girl, it hurts.

I'm not sure if sometimes people assume that I have plans, but the truth of the matter is that I want so badly to just be included. I set aside a lot of my time for Daniel, but sometimes I just go out to him because he is my safe haven when I've had my feelings hurt. He will hold me in his arms as long as it takes while I cry my eyes out. Everyone wants to be included, and NO ONE is immune from feelings of wantonness.