Best of Both Worlds - I Guess this is Goodbye...

I have debated about writing on this, but it's been on my mind lately. For the last three years I have become increasingly frustrated with my single friends. It's not their fault of course. I have been unable to find a way to balance my single side of life with my relationship with Daniel. I know what it's like to be single, and I know that it can be terribly hard when what you are yearning for is a relationship with someone who can fill that hole in your heart. Although God should always be able to do that ideally. Sometimes it is hard to put away those feelings of yearning you have, but the grass is not always greener on the other side.

My sophomore year, the first year Daniel and I dated, two of my roommates had serious boyfriends, so it was very easy to relate to them even if I did not see them often. Junior year was a different story. I'm not sure if they realized it, but I struggled balancing the two parts of my life constantly, and my heart ached. Every time I left to spend time with Daniel, I felt like I was missing out on all of the fun single activities they did and I felt like I could not be intimate with my girlfriends because in many ways I could not identify with them.

This year with my obligations to WSGA, I neglected Daniel like none other, and I feel terrible for that. However, I feel like for the past year I have lived a life of singleness. Since my duties with WSGA have been over, I have tried to put Daniel first in my life (after God always). Today I was reminded of what it is like to miss out on the single life once again, and I again felt the frustration of my junior year! Why can't I get past this?

Today reminded me of what it is I have to do in August, and I think it's time to start making the transition. I am moving to a house 10 minutes away from Washburn, I am getting married, and I am going to law school. I will know the extreme side of non-singleness for the next year. It is time for my frustrations to end. I love hanging out with my single friends, but it hurts so much to have to choose all the time. It is going to hurt to give up my single life, but I have to do this because I know it will fulfill me for the long term. I already feel fulfilled through my relationship with Daniel and our married and/or dating friends.

So I guess this is goodbye...